"I've been through discouragements, but God used them to strengthen me and increase my desire to reach out to Him more." - Damien
My personal breakthrough during this revival season happened a few weeks or probably a month after Generations Weekend in April 2016.
When everyone gathered to pray, it was the most exciting thing I’d seen happening at that moment. People were coming together and crying out to God. Before that, I felt everything was normal, usual. But when I saw what we were all doing, something triggered in me. My spiritual hunger was activated and awakened. A strong desire started to arise in me: a desire to hear God, to be passionate about God, and to be passionate about everything that was going on. At that moment, I realised that things could no longer be the same for me. So I started praying along, more fervent than before, even to a point where I could just start praying in tongues in weird situations.
I clearly remember people receiving visions, words, songs, names, all you can think of! It was really crazy and that added to the excitement. While they were getting all these things, I was the one listening, taking them in. Deep down in my heart I wanted more than just listening to what other people got. I wanted to hear and experience God firsthand. I prayed and prayed but it seemed like nothing was happening. I was very discouraged, to say the least. I started questioning myself, “Am I not worthy enough? Am I not doing much? I could have done better.” I basically doubted myself.
I wanted to give up because it was so tiring to keep going but not experience God firsthand. I needed to talk to someone about this, so I approached Joanna and told her about it. And I thank God for that because He used her to show me the condition of my heart, which was the issue of consistency. I wasn't consistent with my prayers as I was swamped with assignments and things that were not worth my time. I was so convicted that I decided to act on it. And a week later during Sunday service, I got my first breakthrough - I got a word! I felt led to share and it was just so amazing. (The feeling when you share something you got from God, and your heart is racing - that feeling!)
But it wasn’t long until I hit rock bottom again, and it was tough because I hadn't been hearing from God while others were. I wasn’t sure of my direction as well. This time I was more frustrated than before, and I approached Pastor Anand. He said, “You are like a baby bird who’s not yet ready to fly and leave the nest, and yet you want to. Times like these are so you can feed on what’s going on until you’re ready.” So I learned to be patient at that moment, but I wasn’t content. I wanted more. And not long after that, I began to hear from God again, but this time it was more often than I expected and in the weirdest ways. For example, God waking me up at 3 in the morning to ask me to read the Bible, to pray, and giving me words to prophesy over other people. It was crazy. I felt so connected to everything that was going on around me.
Even so, I was never satisfied. I wanted more. I asked for more, and this time my prayer was to have God's heart, to feel how He feels, to see how He sees, and to love how He loves. Little did I know, this prayer got me second-guessing my decision. Each time, I got overwhelmed and somewhat affected for no reason. There were things that didn't even concern me but affected me because my God cared about it even when I didn't. That really changed my perspective of everything around me.
This year I was given the opportunity to go to the Kingdom Invasion Conference in Singapore with some of the leaders in YM. I went there feeling expectant, but not knowing what I was expecting. All the sessions impacted me but what spoke to me most was Lou Engle’s session, where he talked about dreams being the invitation to the realm of possibilities. At that point I was so eager to get dreams from God regarding my calling, YM, and the youths of Malaysia. After responding and being prayed for at one of the workshops, I went back that night and I had THE DREAM. It was me preaching radically in a familiar setting that I could not yet identify. But it was crazy, trust me.
After that, on the way to the conference from the hotel, I had repeated visions of me doing the same thing, but it was a different setting each time. Then I remembered what Lou said: “Pray down those dreams, don’t treat it casually.” And so I took it as a sign. I shared it with some of the leaders with me during the trip, and they witnessed to it. I was so amazed. During the conference, God placed in me a desire to go to Bible school too, and I said yes to it, woohoo! From that point, I told God I wanted to move in the prophetic, and God has been really showing me things lately, it’s crazy. In April, I received another confirmation of this prophetic anointing that I'm pursuing. I couldn't be more excited!
God has realigned my destiny and I can see a path before me that wasn’t there before. Now that I see the path, I’m following it. The journey is gonna be so fulfilling despite the tough times I will go through. I know more breakthroughs lie ahead of me. I know it. I've been through discouragements, but God used them to strengthen me and increase my desire to reach out to Him more. Looking back, I’m sure the me from one year ago would be so mind-blown at where I am right now.
- Damien Chung